Five global ults. Lose lane on purpose. The map is a staging area. Pantheon falls from orbit, TF flips a card, Taliyah builds a wall across half the Rift, Nocturne blacks out the screen, Shen saves Honourable from death for the eighth time this game. The whole team lives at fountain and shows up wherever they're needed.

Five champions whose entire kit is "pick a target, drag them to us." Two hooks per role. If a single Q lands, the fight is over before they can type a question mark. Honourable on Blitzcrank rocket-grabs the wrong target every game without fail.

Five lasers stacked on one chokepoint. Vel'Koz' face fires the disintegration ray, Aurelion Sol drops a meteor from orbit, Ezreal cuts a Trueshot Barrage through the wave, Malzahar one-shot suppresses the carry from the jungle, and Honourable's Final Spark either ends the fight or just scorches the wall behind them.

Two players, ten bodies on the map. Yorick ghouls, Ivern's Daisy, Annie's Tibbers, Heimer turrets, Zyra plants. Every objective is contested by eight units the enemy team has to hit. Honourable cannot find Tibbers in the lobby.

Ryze opens a Realm Warp from base, the entire team teleports onto the enemy backline at once. Malphite ult lands, Amumu rolls in, Miss Fortune channels, Rakan dives. The fight is decided in two seconds. Either we win it clean or we feed five kills, no in between. Honourable's R hits a minion every single time.

Five champions with permanent stealth, camouflage, or untargetable windows. The enemy buys three control wards each and still loses someone every ninety seconds. Honourable on Shaco places the box behind our own tower and forgets it's there.

Mushrooms, jack-in-the-boxes, snap traps, saplings, and Jhin's Captive Audience mines covering every entrance to every objective. Walking through the river is a war crime. Honourable plants a sapling on top of his own ward and giggles.

Five ADCs. Five global ults that fly across the map. Ashe arrow, Ezreal Trueshot, Jhin Curtain Call, Draven axes, Jinx rocket. Press R from the fountain and steal Baron from the spawn pool. The map is one giant kill zone. Honourable on Ashe flashes the wrong direction every time.